Expert Au Pair Author Responds to US Au Pair Law Suit

My good friend, Talya Shoup, sent me her response to the breaking story of an au pair who is suing US Au Pair Agency. Talya Shoup is an author and editor of the popular au pair blog, Best Au Pair Guide, where she dispenses expert advice and top tips for young people who want to become an au pair!

Edina, the recent news of the German au pair, Amely Mae Conrad, suing her former au pair agency, US Au Pair, and its representative, Helene Young, for fraud, negligence, and sexual harassment is indeed big news. Of course, it is always best to hear both sides of a story before making a judgment call, but I would say that there are some things in this story that make me doubtful that the au pair agency in question, US Au Pair, is entirely without guilt in this situation.

It appears that the host father in question, who, according to the au pair filing the lawsuit, sexually harassed and assaulted her on more than one occasion. It seems that when she rejected his advances, he became angry an forced her to work more while docking her pay and saying abusive things.

This entire situation is disturbing, as au pairs are in such a vulnerable position. They are living with strangers in a foreign country, without family or the usual support system from home, and they often don't entirely know the new culture or home. Au pairs also tend to be very young, in their late teens or early 20s, making them all the more vulnerable.

If the agency in question is guilty as charged, and the host father did do the things that the au pair claims, then there were some major mistakes made.

Two other au pairs had been forced to leave this same family because of the father's horrid behavior. There should never have been more than one story like this - after one legitimate complaint of something of this nature, the family should not be allowed to host more au pairs. This should have never happened to more than one girl with the same family.

Of course, a trial will reveal more about the case, and hopefully the agency and its representative will be able to speak for themselves. If all that was accused is true, I hope they have excellent attorneys, because there is no reason that au pairs should be subjected to any sort of inappropriate sexual advances from their host families.

And for all au pairs - those working as au pairs and those who are interested in possibly being au pairs - must be cautious and aware of the sort of host parents they are working for.

Au Pair Safety Tips

I would like to offer the following tips for both prospective au pairs and working au pairs who may find themselves in a similar situation:

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  REPORT INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR: You must report any sort of behavior that makes you feel threatened and unsafe no matter who is involved - yes, that means your host father! Call your parents at home and your host agency.


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  TAKE ACTION: If the problem is not remedied immediately by your au pair agency, demand to be moved out of the house and be given a new host family. There is too much at stake to remain in an uncomfortable - and possibly unsafe - situation.


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  USE COMMON SENSE: Au pairs also need to use common sense. If a potential host dad asks you sexually suggestive questions before you meet them (such as in this case), major red flags should go off. Host families should have no interest in your private life, and you should not be asked to dress a certain way, do anything outside your defined au pair duties, or be expected to share intimate information. There are plenty of safe, good host families out there needing au pairs, so there is no reason to put yourself at risk by accepting a job with a family who might be questionable.

The main point is to pay attention to any potential warning signs and to stand up for yourself. Always. And if you do find yourself in a situation with a questionable host family and an agency who won't do anything to help you, the police are always there. Better to be safe than sorry in this sort of situation!

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Read the entire story about US Au Pair Agency and the Million Dollar Lawsuit German Au Pair Filed for Sexual Assault and Fraud.

Au Pair Sues Au Pair Agency for 1 Million Dollars Citing Sexual Abuse, Fraud and Sexual Battery

Courthouse News Service. October 7 2011

PORTLAND, Ore. (CN) - A teen-age au pair from Germany claims a placement agency aided and abetted an employer who sexually assaulted her, and that the agency knew or should have known that he had done the same thing to two other women the agency had placed in his home.

Amely Mae Conrad sued US Au Pair and Helene Young for fraud, negligence, sexual harassment and discrimination, sexual assault and battery, aiding and abetting and other charges, in Multnomah County Court.

Conrad, 18, says she contacted US Au Pair after seeing it promote itself on its website "a 'U.S. State Department-designated sponsor'" for au pairs.

During a 2-month process that included meetings with the defendants' partner in Germany, Munich Au Pair, Conrad says Young told her "she had found a wonderful family, the Guptas," for her to work with in the United States."

Young told her that "the Gupta family had passed an extensive background check," and that "the Gupta family had had a few au pairs working with them in the past, there had been no problems reported, and the au pairs had enjoyed their experience of working for the Gupta family," according to the complaint.

But Conrad says the latter statement is a lie, and Young should have known it - that US Au Pair had provided two other au pairs to the Guptas, both of whom were subjected to sexual advances by the father, Ashish Gupta.

In 2008, Conrad says, Gupta asked a German au pair "to send him a photo of herself wearing a bikini" before she arrived and "persisted in asking her about her sex life," after she told him it was none of his business. Gupta also rubbed her bare thigh, "inappropriately" fondled her and prohibited her from attending school, which was one of the main reasons she came to the United States, according to the complaint.

This au pair "finally has to leave the Gupta home because of Mr. Gupta's inappropriate behavior and retaliation for rebuffing his advances," the complaint states.

In 2009 US au pair placed a young woman, also from Germany, with the Guptas. Gupta again annoyed this woman with "very inappropriate and sexually proactive conversation," such as "when she had sex most recently, and the sexual positions she preferred," according to the complaint.

Conrad says Gupta also asked this young woman to go with him on a business trip, and asked "to see her in a bikini. Fed up with Mr. Gupta's inappropriate behavior and sexual advances, (the second au pair) left the Gupta home."

When she arrived at the Guptas' in September 2010, Conrad says, Gupta did the same things to her. She says that "almost immediately, Ashish ('Mr. Gupta') began behaving in ways that made plaintiff, who at the time was only 18 years old, feel very uncomfortable." She says Gupta made her "keep her bedroom door open at all times," repeatedly tried to ply her with alcohol, asked her often "to dress in hot shorts or a bikini," told her "not to change out of her pajamas in the morning," insisted that she let him go with her to a mall, where he told her "that she had a 'cute butt,'" then made her try on a pair of shorts, "squeezed her buttock, and said in a creepy voice, 'this feels good.'"

At this, Conrad says, she "was shocked and pulled away," but Gupta "undeterred, shamelessly asked plaintiff if her could 'smack' her buttock. Plaintiff, in horror and disbelief, loudly said no and walked away from him."

She says Gupta continued to molest her though mid-October in his home, sexually pawing her, kissing her "suddenly" without her consent, and trying to fondle her breasts and genitals. She says his molestations made her "devastated, embarrassed" and that afterward she "cried herself to sleep."

She said she repeatedly objected to his sexual pawings, which made Gupta "very upset, mumbling in anger under his breath."

As she continued to resist, Conrad says, Gupta "became abusive" and "began to mistreat her."

He told her she was doing a poor job and that he and his wife were unhappy with her, he docked her pay, made her work seven days a week, and demanded that she "clean the house, cook, and do other chores that were not part of her employment agreement," Conrad says.

Finally, Conrad called her father in Germany, who contacted US Au Pair through its German partner agency. The next day, Conrad says, defendant Young told her to pack her bags because she was being removed from the Gupta home. She says Young apologized for the harassment she had suffered, and promised to place her in a better home.

Shortly afterward, Conrad says, she found out about a previous au pair who had been "molested and victimized" by Gupta. Upon learning this, she says, she "felt she could no longer trust Young or US Au Pair to place her in a safe and healthy working environment," and returned to Germany, where she suffered "a full blown emotional breakdown and became suicidal."

Conrad demands $999,000 plus punitive damages from Young and the Lake Oswego-based business.
She is represented by Mitra Shahri.
Gupta is not named as a defendant.
http://www.courthousenews.com/2011/10/07/40401.htm

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